


Who Put the Bomp?

by mugglerock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Castiel Likes Reality Television, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Claire Novak's Parents, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Cute, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Dorks, Castiel/Dean Winchester Drabble(s), Come on, Feminist Claire, Fluff and Humor, GUYS, Goofy Dean Winchester, Humor, Like More Than He Should, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Not Every Chick is a Damsel in Distress, Seriously guys, Silly, stupid fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:59:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mugglerock/pseuds/mugglerock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the Instagram Post shared on Tumblr:</p><p>They look like two gay dads who just caught their teenage daughter having sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Put the Bomp?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anyrei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anyrei/gifts).



> This is a gift for my amazing writing partner, my awesome German wife, my freakin' unicorn. I promised I would reward her for getting her work done with writing out the following Tumblr/Instagram post. I love you Any! I hope you like it!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> <http://misspoogy.tumblr.com/post/150223472658/travelingintheimpalaandthetardis-im-dead-in>  
> 

“For the last damn time, Cas, I am  _ not  _ watching any TV show with the word ‘real’ in the title. It’s crap and you know it,” Dean huffed out as he and Cas walked down the hallway of the bunker to their shared bedroom. Yet again having their nightly argument of what to watch.

 

“ _The Voice_ doesn’t have the word ‘real’ in it, Dean…” The angel argued.

 

That was when they heard strange noises coming out of Claire’s room. Cas looked to Dean, his eyes suspicious and concerned all at once. Dean nodded and pulled a gun from his belt, while Cas wielded an angel blade. 

 

The hunter’s hand hovered over the doorknob to Claire’s room, he nodded to Cas and they slammed the door open, dashing into the room, their weapons at the ready. 

 

Dean heard the scream before his eyes registered what he was seeing, it sent the image to his brain to process. In that moment, he could not take his eyes away from the scene of their,  _ basically,  _ daughter scrambling to cover herself and the punk kid she was in bed with, with her paisley pink comforter. He’d laugh, if the scene didn’t make him want to murder the degenerate that had been in the process of…

 

Dean shuddered, he didn’t want to think about it.

 

**//SPN//**

 

Castiel stared in horror at the scene before them, his blade still at the ready, because he wasn’t entirely certain he _shouldn’t_ slit the throat of the man currently defiling his daughter.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Claire practically screeched. 

 

“What the hell are  _ you  _ doing?” Dean echoed, clearly disconcerted over the scene.

 

The teen rolled her eyes at the pair of them, “It’s called sex, which we were both enjoying until you two ran in here like a couple of lunatics. Get out of my room!”

 

Castiel was stunned, he was at a loss for how to process the fact that Claire was sexually active. He narrowed his eyes at his daughter, “I think you should be saying that to your friend there.” Just for good measure, he waved his blade at the kid, who now appeared near faint.

 

The kid nodded, his eyes wide with terror, “Yes, sirs, I’ll uh…” He stumbled forward, grabbing the rumpled up sheet at the corner of the bed to wrap it around his waist. He hastily grabbed his shoes and clothing before turning to Claire, “I’ll uh… Uh, I’m gonna go, I’ll talk to you uh… Later.” He did not sound sincere. The kid scrambled passed Castiel and Dean, carefully stepping around their weapons before practically running out of the room.

 

Dean poked his head out of the door and called out, “You better lose her number if you know what’s good for you, kid!”

 

Castiel placed the blade back inside of his trenchcoat and turned his head up to be met with the fiery eyes of his daughter.

 

“I can’t believe you guys did that! I’m an adult! What’s the big deal?” She demanded, her arms crossed over her chest as she held the comforter up for modesty.

 

“What’s the  _ big  _ deal?” Dean parroted again. Castiel truly loved this man, but he really needed to start working on comebacks that weren’t simply repeating what was said to him.

 

Claire huffed, “Look, this isn’t the fucking 50’s. Women aren’t just objects in which we have to preserve our virginity in order to be  _ chosen  _ by the first asshole who comes along to put a stupid ass pin on our sweater vests. I’m 19 years old, I am not a child, I’m old enough to vote and just in case you forgot, women have the right to do that now!” 

 

Castiel looked at Dean, they shared a look of shame. It wasn’t meant as some misogynistic ideal of what is appropriate for women, he just didn’t want to imagine his daughter succumbing to things like lust and desire. Sometimes he still saw a child when he looked at her. 

 

“Claire… I… I am sorry.” 

 

At Dean’s continued silence, Castiel nudged him and the man let out a resigned sigh, “Uh… Me, too.”

 

She appeared taken aback and a little lost for words in that moment. Castiel smiled at her, grabbed Dean and they bowed out of the room, softly closing the door.

 

“I know it ain’t the 50’s, but I don’t regret scaring the piss out of that kid. That shit was hilarious.” Dean smirked as he appeared to fondly recall the panicked teen who ran out of Claire’s room like it was his destiny.

 

He rolled his eyes at his husband, “Why did I marry you, again?”

 

Dean waggled his eyebrows suggestively, “Because, deep down, in the dark recesses of your mind…” He leaned in close and let his hot breath cascade over Castiel’s neck, causing the angel to visibly shudder, before he whispered, “You thought that shit was funny, too.” 

 

Castiel chuckled and rolled his eyes before grasping the man’s hand and leading him back to their room, “Come on, time to put on one of my shows.”

 

Dean groaned, “Dude, I don’t wanna watch that shit.”

 

Castiel smirked, “Who said we’d be watching?” He winked at his husband before dragging him into their room by the collar of his plaid shirt.


End file.
